To My Future Self

I hope this finds you well. Happy and healthy - that's what I'm mainly hoping for, and I hope I will have done what needs to be done for that... part of me is frightened that I won't have done, that you are lost. It's a tough world out there, and right now I'm not sure where I am at all. I don't even know what I'm hoping for in the future, it's just a big unknown and that is something that scares me.

I wonder what your life is like; what job are you in? Where do you live? - I guess that will have been decided mainly by what career I chose... It's something that has been in the back of my mind for a while, especially now that I'm coming towards the end of the PhD. And I'm finding it hard to find what I want to do. It has seemed like I always end up making the right decisions somehow, even if that wasn't what I originally had in mind - I never thought I would be doing a PhD when I started uni, and I know now that I'm on the right path. It's just a question of what next... I just hope that the decision I will make is the right one.

More importantly, I hope you are in good health, and that PH is not affecting your life more than it needs to. That really is my big worry right now - PH seems to be an up-and-down disease, and I just hope that I will have done what I needed to do to make sure that it is up rather than down. Hopefully you are not attached to the IV line - you know as well as I do how big a burden it can be! - and hopefully you are not be waiting for a transplant...

Have you found love? - right now, I'm seeing a lot of people around me finding partners, settling down, starting a family... can be tough being single in this situation. I just hope you have found happiness regardless of whether you have a partner or not; I'm trying to get there, and hopefully you will have found that place, because I believe relationships will be so much better if you are already happy.

Whatever I will have decided, I hope you are happy with that decision, and have no regrets. Oh, and "Don't forget who you are"!